I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
