Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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