Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
