did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
