I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
