Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I just pynch a tree in the face
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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