I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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