Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
