i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just made out with a guy for $7.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
