Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
