If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
