I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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