What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
