Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
