you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
