There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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