What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
