my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
