Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize