this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
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