I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
