So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
