If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize