I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
