Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
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