What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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