It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
