What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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