ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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