The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
