Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Hippo gnu deer
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
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