I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
