I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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