there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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