i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
