do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
