he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
