the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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