"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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