genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
