More tranny stories later!
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
