The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
