Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
