I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
