is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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