I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize