Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
