bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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