The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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