the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
