How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
