She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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