Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
