I think I won the penis lottery.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I think a kid would responsible me up
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize