I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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