I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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