You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
