Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Threesome in a minivan. New low
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize