What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
