He felt like a one man threesome
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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