Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
