The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
