kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I am available for nakedness
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
