dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
someone owes me an orgasm
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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