She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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