awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
My life is pants optional.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
