maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
