i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
