Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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