perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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