dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize