I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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