Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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