someone get that fucking seahorse.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
