im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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