hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
