even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize