I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
